Sunday, August 12, 2012

What If? Blogfest - Rapunzel's Tragic Ending


I've decided to be Team Tragedy since I enjoy dark, tragic writing, ha. I've chosen Rapunzel, and my piece is a change to the happy ending Disney version (I don't mean Tangled though). So instead of an escape from the tower and happy ending with the prince, Rapunzel gets...well, nothing.

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let Loose Your Despair


Rapunzel sat at the window of her prison tower, watching the sun as it rose beyond the horizon. She didn’t know how long it had been since she'd lost him, but as she sat at the window, she recalled feeling heat, cold, and something in between. Nowadays, the world seemed to be cycling back to days of green and warmth, but even when the sun lit up the world, all she could see were shadows.

A dove fluttered onto the windowsill, startling her. It hopped closer, and when Rapunzel lifted a finger to stroke its soft breast, her body shuddered at the memory of his soft hair and how it used to give easily to the persuasion of her fingers.

"Could you find him and bring him back to me?" Her words were foolish, but who else did she have to burden with her yearnings? The dove cooed as Rapunzel looked away into her room. When she saw the inkwell and paper that lay on her desk, she suddenly pictured the dove taking flight with a scrap of paper, flying to wherever he was. She retrieved the pen and paper.

When she was finished writing, Rapunzel ripped a few strands of hair from her head, and the dove didn’t fuss when she tied the paper to its foot. She then picked the dove up and released it, watching it spiral up to the sky until she couldn’t see it anymore.

She knew the dove would never find him, but it brought her the smallest ease to know that wherever the dove went, her letter would be with it. A piece of her would be in the world where he was, and she held on to that thought as the door banged open behind her and the devil snarled her name.

 --

Now, this was longer before I realized we were restricted to 300 words, so I had to whittle things down. If you want to read the entire piece, including what Rapunzel wrote, you can find it on my new, creative writing only blog: Requiem Words.

30 comments:

  1. Ohhhhhh... This is tragic! I felt it... I loved the line about her only seeing shadows... Nicely done :)

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  2. Now that's closer to the original that I recall from my childhood. You know, the one where he falls into the thornbush at the bottom of the tower.

    Nicely done. ^_^

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  3. Ahh, poor Rapunzel. I'll have to go see what she wrote. You can definitely feel her despair.

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  4. What a sad ending! I hope she finds her prince someday :)

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  5. Eeeee! Your twist in the end shot me through the heart. lol. Poignant story. Enjoyed it so much. :)

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  6. Gorgeous! Rapunzel has always been one of my favorite fairytales. Very heart wrenching indeed! :]

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  7. Very nice. This almost feels like the beginning of her story, though...

    Lauren
    Lauren-ritz.blogspot.com

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  8. Very sad! Good twist, and I love this fairy tale! I hope she finds him... :)

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  9. Fantastic! Well conceived and written. Love it.

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  10. The dove made a nice tragic addition! Charming!

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  11. Poor Rapunzel. I can't imagine being stuck in a tower, knowing you had no way out. :(

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  12. Nice job and maybe the prince will get the letter and save her in time???

    Thanks for participating - I'm a new follower :)

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  13. Awesome entry! Very heartbreaking and beautifully written!

    Thanks for being part of the fest!

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  14. Oh poor Rapunzel. Hopefully her man will come.
    This was beautiful!

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  15. Da, da, daaaaa! (that's my evil music) Great ending!

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  16. Greetings!

    I have signed up for GUTGAA and thought I would start visiting a few blogs early! Nice to meet you and you have a lovely blog!

    Donna L Martin
    www.donnalmartin.com
    www.donasdays.blogspot.com

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  17. "A piece of her would be in the world where he was..."

    Ah, stab me in the heart. Beautiful tragic writing. ;)

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  18. Oooh! I wanted to read more about the devil banging down her door. Going to check out the link. Well done. :)

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  19. I read this first at the Requiem blog, and left my comment there. I was completely enthralled by the entire concept; and I must say I like that the HEA is missing. This was satisfactory as written, but I'm glad I read the other, full excerpt first.

    Awesome writing AJ. I am glad the we met and shared a writing prompt.

    .....dhole

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  20. Hi, AJ,

    It's nice to meet you. I truly enjoyed your excerpt. You have a subtle but dynamic style of writing. Terrific descriptions.


    "It hopped closer, and when Rapunzel lifted a finger to stroke its soft breast, her body shuddered at the memory of his soft hair and how it used to give easily to the persuasion of her fingers." Loved this!

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  21. I loved this! The prose is so beautiful (and of course, tragic). Thank you for sharing both versions. It was fantastic!

    Samantha
    Writing Through College

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  22. Very tragic. Great mood you've created. I was thinking maybe the dove would get to him after all. I'd love to read more!

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  23. Oh no poor Rapunzel! I am hopeful that she can still be saved.

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  24. It's tragic but I'm holding out hope that the dove will arrive and maybe he can still save her.

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  25. Love this entry. It's so beautiful and scary, but still has hope. :)

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  26. Aw, this is wonderful. I love this resolution. Awesome. (:

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