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For our first challenge we were supposed to write a piece of flash fiction in any format, 200 words or less, beginning with the line "Shadows crept across the wall." Using the word "orange," ending with "and everything faded," and making it exactly 200 words were extra challenges. Here's my piece:
Night Candy
Shadows creep across the wall,
whisper across my skin,
searching for something
though I have nothing left to give.
So I clave to the darkness
like a bittersweet memory
that's too painful to hold on to
though I refuse to let go.
I can see it in my dreams,
feel it in my bones,
taste it on my lips,
as though I took a bite of the night sky
and now hold it in captivity,
teasing on the edge of release.
And though I know it is not a tangible thing,
it is my closet companion
as I feel this dark candy melt under my tongue,
and find some graceless slumber
in a place it doesn't belong.
Ooh I love your descriptive language! Very nice! I could picture this scene really well in my mind. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI'm entry #19
This is beautiful description. Nicely done - new follower and fellow campaigner.
ReplyDeleteIt's so lovely. The form is fantastic. Well done!
ReplyDeleteYou blog has changed since I last saw it. And I like it, every bit as much as your entry. Nice one! :)
ReplyDeleteVery nice prose - it reminds me of dark chocolate. Great job:)
ReplyDeleteI love the way you interpreted the prompt. Well done! :)
ReplyDeleteNice prose, and yes, I thought of chocolate too.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know that you've moved on to the second round of judging. :)
ReplyDeleteYou make use of the senses very well, and I enjoyed the gentle cadence. Excellent!
ReplyDeleteNice descriptive language here! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI'm #37
flowing poem, elegant!
ReplyDeleteWonderful poem! Wish I could do that.
ReplyDelete#96
(BTW - you might think about getting rid of your Word Verification. It keeps people from commenting sometimes.)
Bite of the night sky... dark candy melting - love it! Rock on!
ReplyDeleteI was totally going to say what Alexia said --loved the bite of night sky part. Good job!
ReplyDeleteNicely done.
ReplyDeleteVery poetic :)
ReplyDelete#83
Really like the descriptive language/imagery. When the words show something, rather than just tell about it, I know it's a good one. This is good.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of the word "tangible" as I read it and then it was in the poem! You really captured the image of darkness in an eloquent way. Nice.
ReplyDeleteOh, you're quite the skilled poet, aren't you?
ReplyDelete#109
This is lovely. It's great to see some poetry in the challenge.
ReplyDeleteWell done!
ReplyDeleteI loved this. I'm here for the Platform Building Campaign and look forward to getting to know you and your work. ~Cheers
ReplyDeleteVery nice imagery! I'm a new follower via the campaign.
ReplyDeleteGreat piece. I love it. Nice to meet you.
ReplyDeleteHey, just letting you know that I've nominated you for the Sunshine Award. Details are at my blog! :)
ReplyDelete