Reading vs Writing

The other day the thought occurred to me that what I love to read and what I love to write don't quite sync up. Not that I in any way think that because I read a certain type of book I should also write it, but I've heard before that writers should read in the genre they write as much as possible. I of course see the good in doing so, but if they don't, so what? My favorite genre to read is YA fantasy, but nowadays I find myself more drawn to writing adult fantasy, specifically Urban Fantasy. I say nowadays because it wasn't always that way. I started writing books at fourteen, so naturally the characters in my books through my teen years were also teens and the books were most decidedly YA. Last year was actually the first time took the plunge into adult fantasy, and of the twelve books I've written, the ratio of YA to Adult is still heavily in favor of YA, but I feel like that may change. I love reading YA fantasy because of everything it encompasses; the fantasy aspect, the angst, the romance, the conflicts. But when it comes to the stories that choose to write, I find adult fantasy to be more open to me, I love the dialogue I can come up with, the action, and I like writing romance that is more on an adult level. And yet...I don't read much of what I write? I find that strange, honestly, and I've long determined to do something about it, but all these YAs that I want to read keep coming out so what am I supposed to do? There are only so many hours in a day. Currently I am reading an adult UB, so go me! (Hit List by Laurell K. Hamilton).

I don't plan to force a fight between what I like to read and what I like to write, but I think that I will be trying to broaden my horizons because it can't hurt. I just may need a bigger bookcase...

Going through the motions

Today is really hot....one of those days where you don't want to move because the slightest movement can cause you to burst into sweat. The heat also seems to dampen my motivation, though to be honest it's been pretty damp lately anyway. My mini boost has worn off; most days I find myself just wondering what to do with myself. It's not like there's a lack of things I can do - draw, write, paint, play video games, read, bake, go out somewhere, sew....it's just that I don't have much desire to do any of those things. I think I've run out of fuel a little; I've spent months working hard and plowing through various creative processes, for the love of it yes, but also in the hopes of reaping a little reward, but so far I am unsatisfied with where I am. Discouragement is only natural, I know, but man do I hate it. With my writing, I feel like I'm playing in a shallow pool of water...only flitting around with things but not getting anywhere deeper. I went for reading books in rapid fire to hardly reading....I did finish City of Fallen Angels and have started Fire, but my reading speed has slowed considerably none the less. New ideas for stories are few and far between...when they come I get excited about them for literally a day...then they fade out. Discouraging.

I'm going through the motions....wondering where I am in my life, how I got here, and where do I go now. I hate feeling like time is just passing me by, but that's sort of how I feel right now. I need a kick, some inspiration, some motivation...something to spark me to continue moving forward with the things I want to achieve. I think the only thing that would really work would be for some Really Good Thing to happen for me right now, then I'd regain myself and be more certain that success is in my reach. I know I am the only one who can make things happen for myself...but for now...I'm just sitting in a shallow pool.